1. |
Human Condition
02:48
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If I was a bird I'd fly to somewhere
people could not hurt me anymore
I'd stick around for a month or two
and then be on my way
Cause sometimes people can be too much
they suck the life right out of me
And if I was a bird then I'd be free
If I was a bird then I'd be free
If I was just a piece of gum
melting on a sidewalk
I'd stick to people here and there
and maybe they'd forget to wipe me off
I'd gather dust and dirt
I'd slowly rot away
And then one day I'd just fall off and die
One day I would just fall off and die
If I was a bullet in a shell
I think I'd probably hate myself
Cause I'd know my only job is to destroy
I'd try to scream and shout
to keep me in the chamber
But when the gun goes off
the only way is out
cause when a bomb goes off behind you
the only way is out
If I was just a human being
Living on this earth
I'd probably think what people think of me
would determine what I'm worth
I think I'd rather be
a tiny speck of dirt
Cause dirt gets walked on all day long
and never seems to get it's feelings hurt
Oh what I'd give to never get my feelings hurt
Maybe I should just give up
and be a bird
Maybe I should just give up
and be a bird
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2. |
Chemo
02:19
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You refused to go to the doctor
when you started getting sick
And dad, you know just how much I love you
but sometimes you can be such a dick whoa
Cause magnets and herbal tea don't cure cancer
I think we all are clear
If you refuse chemotherapy
you won't make it through the year
I remember sleeping on your couch each weekend
you'd wake up early and cook me breakfast
I always thought I'd make it back to see
you again
But the last time we spoke I could barely understand you
at all
I couldn't stop crying I was stuck at work
when mom told me to call
Cause magnets and herbal tea don't cure cancer
I think we all are clear
If you refuse chemotherapy
you won't make it through the year
Cause magnets and herbal tea don't cure cancer
the doctors have been clear
If you refuse chemotherapy
you won't make it through the year
Dad you taught me to play
stairway to heaven and you
gave me this guitar
I really fucking wish you could see me now
cause you'd see I've come so far
I don't really know if I believe in heaven
but I hope you're not in pain
And I don't really know if I believe in heaven
but I hate that you left this way
And I don't really know if I believe in heaven
but I hope you're not afraid
And I don't really know if I believe in heaven
but I hate that you left this way
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3. |
Three Little Words
03:22
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The tears don't dry while you're drowning
they only get harder to see
How can you live to the fullest
when you're never where you're meant to be
One foot in the grave and you're sinking
deeper and deeper each day
Three little words on the tip of your tongue
but they're harder than ever to say
And I'll never forget what you did for me
when I was a lost little boy
Hiding away from everything
All the love the pain and the joy
All those years
Locked away
Running from something I never could fight anyway
And it hurts just to face your reflection
in the shattered glass of your tears
run and you hide but you can't seem to find
a day of relief from your fears
But it's never too late to wake up
and notice that you had it good
I've never been too superstitious
but you've got me knocking on wood
And I'll never forget what you did for me
when I was a lost little girl
Hiding away from everything
all the love the pain and the world
All those years
Locked away
Running from something I never could fight anyway
Well I'm opening up my eyes now
and I'm blinded by what I see
Not sure who I am at the moment but I'm
becoming much safer to be
One foot in the grave and I'm sinking
Deeper and deeper each day
Three little words on the tip of my tongue
but they're harder than hell to say
But I'll never forget what you did for me
When I was a lost little girl
Hiding away from everything
All the love the pain and the world
All those years
Locked away
Running from something I never could fight anyway
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4. |
Grow
04:00
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The pain may fade but the scars will stay
They'll never go away
And as this gets further in your past
You'll hear yourself begin to say
I'll rise above the pain I've felt
I'll rise above it all
Cause autumns come and autumns will go
It never really hurts to know
That there's always another season
Waiting after the fall
And as the springs and the summers come
You'll feel yourself begin to grow
So far along you almost gave up hope
The bridges burned down years ago
The cycle breaks another day begins
The victim is your innocence but
You'll rise above the pain you've felt
Yeah you'll rise above it all
Cause autumns come and autumns will go
It never really hurts to know
That there's always another sesason
Waiting after the fall
And as the springs and the summers come
You'll feel yourself begin to grow
You'll lay down roots in a new town
You'll spread them deep into the ground
And when your limbs reach toward the sun
You'll finally love what you've become
And when you can finally touch the sky
Then maybe you won't want to die
Because you'll rise above the pain you've felt
Yeah you'll rise above it all
Cause autumns come and autumns will go
It never really hurts to know
That there's always another season
Waiting after the fall
And as the springs and the summers come
You'll feel yourself begin to grow
Yeah as the springs and the summers come
You'll feel yourself begin to grow
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5. |
Punchline
02:57
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It's getting pretty late I should
Probably go to bed
But I can't sleep and I can't dream I
Can't stop thinking bout the things I said
And how even if I got just what I want
I'd probably fuck it up
And I've been thinking a lot lately about
Who I wanna be
The person that I am and the
Person that I want the world to see
The person in the mirror is me
She's who I need to know
So let's go find out
Who we really are
We'll run away so far and we're
Never looking back
Let's go see if
Failure is an art
It's tearing me apart but man I
Really need to be alone right now
The worst things in life
Are usually free
They creep up from the back of you mind and they
Scream and scream and scream
That you don't deserve to be free
and they'll never go away
And sometimes I'm inclined to
Believe that they are right
Cause I've been hearing screaming
Since I was at least five
And now I'm twenty four and I wish
They'd just leave me alone
But when I find out
Who I really am
I'm hoping that I can and it
Doesn't take too long
I can prove that
Failure is an art
I don't know where to start but please just
Don't leave me all alone right now
Cause I need affection
And I need attention
And I need direction
And I need to question
The voices that tell me to be
Bitter and angry
I'd say they don't know me
But they really do
They'll never stop trying
And I'll never stop fighting
But I think I'm dying
I'm already dead
And at this point it's all just one big fucking joke
And I wish I could tell you
The punchline but this is the truth instead
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6. |
Impostor Syndrome
03:10
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Sometimes I don't think that I'm
Good enough for anybody
But I don't have to listen to myself give me that shit
Cause I'm a fucking joy to be around
And when that voice tells me get down
I just have to stand up strong
And shout that fucker down
I am smart, I am pretty
I am talented, I'm tough
I am quick, I am witty
And I'm really good enough
I work hard, I am loyal
and I've got a lot of love
I am smart, I am pretty and I'm
Really good enough
When people say they like my music
Sometimes I can't believe it
But if I think objectively
Why would my friends and family
All lie to me
Unless they see
That I need validation
To not be so depressed
But then I realize that's stupid
Sure not everyone likes my music
But the ones who do, they really mean it
Because maybe they're just like me
And maybe they can see a piece of them
Reflected back in me so
If you're scared to be
A failure just like me
Then stand up tall and raise your voice and
Sing
I am smart, I am pretty
I am talented, I'm tough
I am quick, I am witty
And I'm really good enough
I work hard, I am loyal
and I've got a lot of love
I am smart, I am pretty
And I'm fucking good enough
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Jo Rodriguez Colorado
Colorado's prodigal butch trans girl
singer songwriter
she/her
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